What To Do When Your Mother-In-Law Critiques Your Parenting

Your feelings of frustration aren't a sign that you are sensitive; they are a sign that boundaries are being crossed.

When you choose a different parenting path than your mother-in-law,that isn't a rejection of her past;it is simply an evolution of your present.

We cannot continue to parent our kids as our mothers did decades ago. Remember you are not a helper in your child's life;you are the mother.

Your instincts and decisions are your final word. If you feel overwhelmed right now, please know you are not alone and you shall overcome this 😇🪻

To show you exactly what I mean, here is a scenario of what happens in so many of our homes every single day. 🏡

Imagine you’ve had a long, exhausting morning. You finally get the baby settled, and you’re in the kitchen preparing a healthy, nutrient-dense meal. 🥣 You’ve done your research, you’re following modern  guidelines and recipes , and you’re carefully mashing up some fresh butternut and milk squash . You feel good🥰 . You feel like you’re finally winning at this mom thing💪.

Then your mother-in-law walks in🚶‍♀️

 She looks in the bowl and makes a very weird face🤢.

"Oh, you're giving the baby that? I remember in my days I started my son on heavy porridge at just three months and he turned out perfectly fine. You are starving the poor boy,he is so thin!"

 

Another time you are just stepping out for an afternoon walk and she stops you at the  door 

"Where is his heavy jacket??  He is freezing!

Even though it's warm and sunny and he was really  sweating 🥵 

You suddenly feel so frustrated.You start feeling like you aren't a capable adult raising their own child,but a little girl who just got caught doing something wrong by the teacher 😌

You find yourself quickly trying to explain the latest pediatric guidelines or your baby's temperature at the moment but you know she will take it as being defensive 

She shakes her head,sighs and walks away leaving you standing there confused, second guessing your choices and boiling in anger 🤬 

If you are in the same situation,I want you to take a deep breath right now.I see you

It is incredibly hard and exhausting to feel like you have to defend your motherhood in your own private home 🏠 

We don't always change our mother-in-law's but we can  change how we respond, protect our energy and reclaim our confidence as the incredible mom's we are 😇😇

Here are a few powerful ways to help you navigate the critique,stand your ground and keep your sanity 👇👇

1)Put her on "Information Diet" 🤐

If she uses details about your daily routine to criticize you,stop feeding her with your information. Remember anything you do or say will be used against you at some point 😂

Don't share every milestone, sleep struggle or feeding schedule. Keep updates light, polite and brief. The less she knows about your day,the less she's likely to critique 🤫

Setting boundaries on what you share with extended family is key, so check out how to set healthy boundaries with in-laws (without creating drama) for more practical scripts to protect your peace. 🏡💖

2)Let Your Partner Handle It 🏃‍♀️💨💨

Remember she is his mother first. It should not be your job to constantly defend your parenting choices to his family. 

When she brings up a critique,step back and let your husband take the lead on enforcing the boundaries with her.

Just sit him down and make sure you are on the same page before he goes up to his mother.

If your husband struggles to stand up to his family when boundaries are crossed, read is your husband protecting your marriage or pleasing his family? 5 signs he's putting them first for insight on shifting priorities back to your home. 🤝💙

3)The "Shut It Down Politely" Hack 📌✨

You do not owe her a 15- minutes backed up by pediatric guidelines every time she speaks up . Have a few go-to phrases ready to shut down the conversation completely firmly and respectfully. Try saying ;

"Thanks, we've got it covered!" Or " Our pediatrician has us doing it this way now,but thank you!" Then immediately change the subject 😁🙅‍♀️

When passive-aggressive or critical remarks keep recurring, take a look at 10 effective ways to deal with a toxic mother-in-law to learn how to keep your composure and guard your boundaries. 🛡️✨

4) Separate Her Anxiety From Your Reality 🧠🌾

Sometimes a mother-in-law's criticism stems from her own anxiety,her needs to feel needed or insecurities about how she raised her kids.

When she snaps at you about something petty like a jacket or a bowl of food, remind yourself; "This is her issue not mine"

When you realize her comments aren't about you,but her and she's just projecting her own issues,then she stops hurting your feelings.

5) Remember That "No" is a Complete  Sentence 🛑✊

You are the mother, period! You do not need her permission,her approval or her validation to raise your baby how you want.

If she keeps crossing that boundary even after you asked her to stop,then it is entirely a lack of respect and you can go ahead and say;

" Sorry,buy we aren't looking for advice on that right now" and walk our of the room like the queen you are 👸👑

6) Trust Your "Mum Gut"🤱🌼

At the end of the day, nobody in this world knows your baby better than you do. You are the one who knows every cry, every smile and exactly what they need.

Tune out the background noise and lean into your own motherly instincts . Trust that you are exactly the mom that your baby needs.

Conclusion;

You've got this mama ❤️ . Navigating a critical mother-in-law is never easy. Motherhood isn't about being perfect or pleasing everyone in the family,it's about showering your little one with love.

The next time a critique comes your way, remember you don't need anyone's approval to be an amazing mom. You are doing a beautiful job 💐👏👏

Tired of opinions on how much your baby is eating? Read my guide on baby portion sizes and combination feeding to stay confident in your feeding routine.